Tags: h_and_s

yellow_elephant

Information Management Issues....

Folks,

Many americans in our overly worked, parrallel proceessing, multi-tasking world, can get confused as to which thread of consciousness is currently cognizant of it's own existence..... So BE FOR WARNED!!! some times the cosmos HAS no sense of Humor!!!!

Take for instance:
The research, at Oregon State University in the city of Corvallis and at the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland, has caused an outcry. Martina Navratilova, the lesbian tennis player who won Wimbledon nine times, and scientists and gay rights campaigners in Britain have called for the project to be abandoned.

Navratilova defended the “right” of sheep to be gay. She said: “How can it be that in the year 2006 a major university would host such homophobic and cruel experiments?” She said gay men and lesbians would be “deeply offended” by the social implications of the tests.

But the researchers argue that the work is valid, shedding light on the “broad question” of what determines sexual orientation. They insist the work is not aimed at “curing” homosexuality.

[ cf Science told: hands off gay sheep ]
meanwhile this fresh in from the Freak Show Types:
Larry Weald returned home yesterday to a scene of chaos in his refrigerator.
"It was as if someone had taken a scalpel to the takeout box," Weald said of his mutilated order of steamed tofu. Neighboring containers of soy sauce and low-calorie dressing were unharassed.

Police investigation of the refrigerator uncovered heightened levels of radiation. "My pocket sandwiches had fully cooked in the freezer compartment," Weald said.

"Whatever did this must have come through the walls," said Weald.

Police confirm that Weald's security system, deadbolt, and chain lock functioned perfectly throughout the night of the mutilation.

[ cf Tofu Mutilations Blamed on Aliens from Vega ]
One of these is alledged to be serious....

But in our modern era, can you really be sure????

I mean can you be sure enough about your position that you are not personally responsible for the Iranian FLying Saucers coming back...

So remember, no matter what happens, if there is possible chance that any of your information could be proof prositive of the Satanic Nancy Pelosi Evil Voodoo Zombie Dust Bunnies Of Despair, then it is YOUR DUTY!!! Your God Given Patriotic Duty to start telling the Super Secret Space Alien Detention Facility Folks were to start their sweeps of the Evil Aliens, many of whom are here illegally, and using forged or stolen identies, and in some case stolen skin sacks, and taking away high paying jobs from needy americans, who will also get stuck standing in line at the Cinema and Other Facilities where the Evil SPACE ALIENS are engaged in Brain Wave Sucking Activities on The Special Orders Of Al-Qaeda!!!!

So BE AFRAID!!!!!!

THEY COULD BE OUT THERE!!!!!!

AND THEY COULD BE TRYING TO SUCK OUT YOUR BRAIN WAVES!!!!!

and in a blue dress....
yellow_elephant

The Country Needs More Health And Safety Alerts....

I just noticed that the two volume set of Pinky and The Brain does NOT, repeat, does NOT, come with an appropriate health and safety warning on the side.

As a Public Service, I would like to make it PAINFULLY CLEAR that this is a GRAVE NATIONAL SECURITY RISK!!!!

It is ok to watch any episode of Pinky And The Brain, while sewing, presuming there is enough light, so as not to poke yourself with any of the pointy objects!!!!

BUT IT IS A GRAVE NATIONAL SECURITY RISK!!!!! If you watch any episode of Pinky And The Brain, while reading the Iraq Study Group Report.

It should be considered a Grave Capital Crime to say "NARF" while Reading the Iraq Study Group Report, and DEFINITELY, you should never say
Are You Pondering What I Am Pondering?
since in theory the Iraq Study Group Report is not Viral Marketing for Silly Take Over The World Scheme Madmen.... and/or Lab Rats with the same intentions.

One REALLY should be able to keep one's National Weapons Release Authority distinct from a Mutant Rodent and his Someone Chaotic Evil Fellow Travelor!!!

As SUCH the EVIL DOING EVIL DOERS, who are doing evil, at Warner Brothers, and their sister Dot, should be FORCED by Pain Of Law, to PUT some Appropriate Health And Safety Warning On Their Product For The Protection of Our White Christian American Way of Life or the Iranian Flying Saucers will return!!!

Thus Endeth The Public Service Announcement, Go Thou And Sin No More Against the National Security and the Greatest Of All Military Leaders EVER!!!!!