Passing through the cute, harmless, relatively tiny Spokane airport on the way back to the goodly San Francisco bubble after spending a week and change up in the Pacific Northwest with the family for the holidays, entering the security checkpoint and of course doing my all-American duty and basically taking off all my clothes so as to help protect my country because, you know, it's Spokane. Islamo-fascist terrorists really hate Spokane.Yes boys and girls, with everyone out there nothing but a collection of defeatist kapitulationist kut and runner draft dodgers, why don't we just let them all live with the consequences of their God Hating America Bashing????
And suddenly, I saw it. The port. Oh holy dammit, that's right. Last minute of my of packing, I'd switched the new, sealed 375-milliliter bottle of 16-year-old vintage port wine from my checked suitcase over to my carry-on due to concern for the former's overall weight, somehow completely blocking out the no-liquids thing and despite all my careful packing and awareness just prior. My hand went to my forehead, and slapped. Idiot.
The security guard carried the bottle over to me, shaking his head, but in a nice way. "Sorry, this can't go." No kidding. Damn. What a waste.
"You want to go have a few sips before you come back through?"
[ cf How to get drunk at the airport
Can you make an airport bomb from chocolate, iPod wire and port wine? ]
This way only the TRUE TRUE BELIEVERS will be protected by the Divine Will for having voted BushCheney2008 while all of the god hating america bashers were all being soft on international communism...
I mean, aren't you upset that the so called GOP candidates are all a bunch of RINO's who are stabbing our troops in the back by not supporting the president to support the troops!!!!