This is why they always care around a scientific journal, and a spare plumb-bob.
Just in case there is a chance to plumb the depths of moral deprativity.
Strictly in the Interests Of Science, and Advancing the Presidents New And Improved National Security Science Inhancement Initiative, the Greatest since his plan to send a man to the moon....
Since clearly in the ever growing world of Terrorist Threats Ever Growing Greater, we must all chip in and do our part on the new War On The Tyranny Of Literacy!