drieuxster (drieuxster) wrote,

In praise of flatulence

Previously I had the type and quality of flatulence that could kill small woodland animals on continents that no white man had ever set foot on. If you doubt, as my former housemates.

Well last night I woke up in deep pain. I had a very bloated belly, and it was dealing with excessive Pressure....

I took a pepcid AC, and one of those 'get mellow' organic sleeping aides, and was wondering if a nice hot compress would help it upwrap itself.... Then it struck me that I had mostly been living on Chicken Broth, Yogurt, and the Salmon Salad Mix, the alternative to a Tuna Salad Sand.... but of course without the bun, so of course my colon had all but gone on holiday to some AssHoles Theme Park.

Ah yes, what a decent fart would have done to releave the pressure.... And so I opted to work on belching the National Security Directives, in four part harmony, with Full Orchestration, and the inevitable encryption as required to keep anyone from knowing the super Duper Sekret parts...

Ah yes, some times AssHoles are Useful...

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