drieuxster (drieuxster) wrote,

More Post Surrealism In Modern Americanism...

Following a recent study suggesting the Apple iPod could adversely affect the performance of pacemakers, a new report in the New England Journal of Medicine has warned that portable digital music players can be extremely dangerous if carried in a storm.

"Most people hit by lightning get away with minor burns," outlined the report’s lead author, Dr. Eric J. Heffernan of Vancouver General Hospital, before explaining that human skin is highly resistant and prevents electricity from entering the body. "It’s called the flashover effect," he added in a Xinhua article, "although it can stop your heart and kill you."

The report, which looks at instances of individuals struck by lightning while using electronic devices, suggests that a digital music player, mobile phone, or another piece of portable electronic equipment can drastically alter the physical effects of a flashover.

[ cf Digital music players unsafe in storms ] Zounds!!! Egads!!! GadZooks!!!!

Clearly we must have Large Labels Indicating:
In Case Of Electrical Storms This Device will not protect you from Lightening Strikes!!!! Even IF you are holding up, or standing under, other forms of Lightening Rods that will also help direct the Strike Towards You!!!
Note: nature Abhors a vacuum, this may be a clue you should wake up to.
This Device WILL NOT protect you from Actual Real Imaginary Attacks By Iranian Flying Saucers!!!
This Device will not protect you from having anal probes inserted by space aliens!!!!
This Device will not keeep the mind control rays away, since, clearly you do not have enough of a mind to control because you tend to ask the gods to take you out of the gene pool by means of Thor's Bolts, so like SOOOO Get Over Yourself
As this should help americans focus on the critical needs of the day, and to help fight against the they, them, those types.

Are YOU doing Your Part???
Tags: they_did_what

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