We've come a long way since "Fuck the Draft." The history of free speech in America features a long proud march of embattled speakers pushing back against government authority. Whereas today's free-speech heroes pretty much just want to be zany enough for YouTube.HOW FRIGHTENING!!!!
In the old days, whether they were claiming that government workers were "God damned racketeers" (in Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire); protesting the war in Vietnam with armbands (Tinker v. Des Moines) or foul words (Cohen v. California); declining to "live free or die" (Wooley v. Maynard) or asserting the controversial right to burn a flag (Texas v. Johnson) these folks had the courage of their convictions. And because of John and Mary Beth Tinker—who wore black armbands to school to protest the war—the Supreme Court once agreed that student free-speech rights don't disappear at the schoolhouse gate. Today's court isn't so certain.
Alaska high-school student Joseph Frederick hoisted his 14-foot "Bong hits 4 Jesus" banner to get on TV. He knew it was a meaningless phrase. He'd seen it on a snowboard. (Nine out of 10 potheads I polled for this piece confirmed these words are no more meaningful when stoned.) But Frederick wanted to annoy school administrators, and he wanted media attention, and as we discovered today, he chose well on both fronts. He was suspended for 10 days. And we are out in droves to cover his case. The words "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" do grab headlines, and even the justices seem to be giggling and getting the munchies as they speak the words this morning.
[ cf Bong Hits 4 Jesus
Because you just can't improve on "Bong hits 4 Jesus."
( emphasis MINE - for reasons of National Security ) ]
I mean, do we really need the Opinions of Stoners about the Deep Inner Truthiness of Bong Hits 4 Jesus????
Clearly these people are failing to accept their Obligation to Support the Divinity Of Dubya, and hence, that it would be a Constitutional Issue, IF and ONLY IF, this were a Constitutional Republic, as the nation had been before the Whole World Changed, AND EVERYONE accepted the Divinity of Dubya as Demanded by the Clear and Compelling Evidence from the Argument For Intelligent Design.
But since we live in the Greater American CoProsperity Sphere, Basking In The Reflected Glow of the Divine Will Of Dubya, there can ONLY Be One Solution here - that these Heathen Idolators be sent to the Wall and Burned At the Stake for their Apostasy...
We are in the Greatest Of All Holy Crusades, EVER!!!!!