April 3rd, 2007

yellow_elephant

Why God Is Punishing America....

Ok, so maybe I am SOOO not getting why it is that we are having problems with Nancy Pelosi visiting our most cherished friend the Syrians, whom we have been outsourcing some of our torturing to, since, gosh the Syrians are Such Nice People who are willing to do the Torturing For Us, and at such discount prices.... But it seems that the Pro-War Wack Jobs are All A Twitter over the Idea that someone in congress might visit one of our best friends over in the middle east.

Then there is this Bit
Taking another toss at the tropical weather dart board, a group of university forecasters Tuesday predicted ''a very active'' hurricane season.
They expect 17 named tropical storms that grow into nine hurricanes, including five intense hurricanes with winds above 110 mph.

The averages over the past 40 years are 11 tropical storms, six hurricanes and two intense hurricanes. In 2006, we had 10 named storms that became five hurricanes, two of which were intense, a welcome relief after the barrages of 2004 and 2005.

[ cf 'Very active' hurricane season is predicted ]
Could It Be That God Is Totally Miffed At The VOCHAS???

I mean, were they not save from actual american military service overseas in the Great Holy Crusades against all monsters, PRECISELY to protect us from the Ever Satanic Ever Demonic Nancy Pelosi Evil Voodoo Zombie Dust Bunnies Of Despair Spewing Bong Hitz 4 Jesus!!!! AND THEY, THE VOCHAS FAILED GOD!!!!

Clearly there can be no other explanation for Why GOD Hatess America but that the VOCHAS have STABBBED GOD IN THE BACK by allowing The Evil To Spread In America....

and now she is out tastefully visiting with our best friends in Torture.
yellow_elephant

Is Al Gore The Anti Christ, or Is Steve Jobs???

You Be The Judge:
Why would Al Gore, America's best-known environmentalist and a member of the board of directors of Apple, oppose shareholder resolutions that ask the computer maker to become more green?

That's what Greenpeace, Friends of the Earth, Consumers Union, the National Environmental Trust and the Computer TakeBack Campaign want to know.

They are among about 70 groups that signed a letter to Gore asking the former vice president to use his clout as a director to get Apple to become responsible for its environmental impact. They charge that Apple (Charts) lags behind rivals Dell (Charts) and Hewlett Packard (Charts) when it comes to recycling computers and eliminating toxic chemicals from its laptops, desktops and other electronic devices.

They say Apple also lags Dell and HP in reporting on environmental and social issues - and that the company is a lot less willing to talk about these issues with activist groups.

[ cf Gore needs a greener Apple ]
Gosh, Golly, Gee Whiz....

And to think that here we are in the Middle Of The Most Holyiest Of Holy Wars Against All Monsters Everywhere and these Shrill and Hysterical Radical Extremists are merely WHINING about the "environment", when clearly the MOSTE IMPORTANTE ISSUEE INE THEE WORLDE ( yes, those are the extra 'E' add ons needed to make them more Republican Than Ever Before. ) is whether Jobs and Gore will OPENLY SUPPORT THE DIVINITY OF DUBYA or ARE THEY SATANIC EVIL DOERS DOING EVIL Doingly...

God But these Evil Liberals in the Radical Left Wing Extremists Media, like Forbes Magazine, are, just so Shrill and Hysterical about totally Irrelevant things, simply so they can stab the troops in the Back...

Geez Louise.
yellow_elephant

A brief Comic Relief....

The other day, while cycling to work, these patriotBoys in their Oversized Pick Up decided that they had to blow their big horn, and scream at me to 'get out of the road' - as they rushed to pull into the Taco Bell, and then have to go all the way around to get into the drive through.....

Ah Yes.... and to think that there are Such Patriots, who are hiding in America, and hoping that no one notices that they really have not been able to come to grips with threat that The California Motor Vehicle Laws, are a part of the Laws, and that Gosh, Law Might Be Legal In America....

Ah yes.....
yellow_elephant

Evil Liberals Just Do Not Get It...

I mostly Like Digby, but let us be honest:
And you are reminded that the US government has gone stark raving mad. How our diplomats and businessmen and military can hold their heads up when they're overseas, much less to make a case for American leadership, is beyond me. It must be very painful to have to try to explain just what in God's name is going on here.
[ cf Rabid Hobgoblins ]
This piece comes after long citations to the reality check that the David Hick's Plea Bargain was put together
The plea bargain itself was brokered by Susan Crawford, the top military commission official and a former Department of Defense inspector general under then-Secretary of Defense Cheney, without the knowledge or input of the lawyers prosecuting Hicks. The lead prosecutor expressed shock over the light sentence.
( op cit )
and the Fun of the Supreme's ruling on the fact that one is not allowed to challenge one's detention in GitMo, because, well there is still a chance that some of them may be able to appeal their way out of GitMo, and they can always do the traditional Plea Bargain Deal, if they can Get to Dear Old Dick and make it worth his while to get them out of GitMo....

What EVIL LIBERALS fail to comprehend is that in The Christianist World, there is no need for any of the Evils of Modern SeXular Humanism, such as reasonability, or rationality, as these are the Tools Of Satan!!!! All that is required is BLIND LOYALTY TO GREAT LEADER!!!!

As such it does not matter what other countries may think!!!! They are either Supporting Great Leader, or they are Agents of Satan!!! And when the Battle Cry Is Cried, then the Great War Heroes Of Greatness Will Greatly Rise Up And Gloriously And Victoriously Vanquish The Satanic Evil Doing Evil Doers Who Are Evil! and Doing! And ERS!!!

So Bong Hitz 4 Jesus!!! Because the Most Important Thing About Christianists is their Awesome Elite Killing Machine!!!! I MEAN Like Totally Dude!!!

What MORE do americans need???? I mean Jesus Gave Us NUKES because He Loves US!!!!
yellow_elephant

More Why Those Evil Liberals Are Just Wrong...

Another Lovely Article from Hullabaloo
TPM highlights this interesting profile of our little friend Monica Goodling at Law.com. She is, as Pach at FDL pointed out last night, a protege of recent Libby flack Barbara Comstock, the best GOP oppo character assassin since Don Segretti. Comstock brought Goodling with her into the Justice department after their stint ended as RNC oppo "researchers."
...
And again, what were the Pat Robertson' U grad Goodling's primary qualifications before joining the Department of Justice? She worked with Barbara Comstock and Timothy Griffin (the US Attorney from Arkansas who Rove pushed through under the patriot act) at the Bush Cheney oppo research department in 2000.

It doesn't automatically make her a criminal, but it sure stinks of unethical politicization of the Justice Department.

[ cf Caught In The Buzzsaw ]
But they TOTALLY MISS THE POINT!!!

Why SHOULD the Department of Justice be anything Other than the Directorate Of Devotion to The Divinity Of Dubya??? It is not like anyone needs the Justice Department to get bogged down in that Law Stuff, because that would mean raising up the Law of Man ABOVE the Divine Will Of GOD!!!

Which we all know is Satanic and Demonic And EVIL!!!!

I mean We are in the Most Holiest Of All Holy Crusades Against the Demonic And Devilish Forces Of IkkyYukkyPoohPerism, and these Evil Liberals want to BOG DOWN the Process by Micro-Managing The Rule Of Divine Will with the Mere Laws Of MAN!!!!

Think of all of the Innocent Children who must be protected from the Sinful Ways of Evil Liberals!!!! We can not leave such Protection to Mere Mortals Using Merely The Laws of Man....

Only Bong Hitz 4 Jesus will Help Folks Understand the Deeper Symbolism and Significance Of The Divinity Of Dubya, and then ONLY as they Surrender Themselves Totally To the Full Submission to The Divine WIll, will they ever be able to fully Know the Freedom of never again having to make their own choices, as the Divine Decider has already Decided their Decisions For Them!!!!

Anything Less and the Terrorists WIN!!!!
yellow_elephant

More Simple Answers For Complex Times...

Always remember, Progress Is Progressive....

and just keep chanting
The Divinity Of Dubya
until your shoes turn into the Ruby Slippers , of Red Communist
Dominated Hollywood Elitists Kapitulationist Appeasers who
Abandoned the Clear And Compellling Bi-Metalist Arguments of
the Silver Slippers when transporting the Wizard Of Oz from it's
traditional AMERICAN setting into one more Demonic Horrible
Ikky Yukky PoohPer Propoganda Piece, and then you can just
click them together chanting
There is NO Place Like Home....
and you and your little dog toto will go back to Kansas where you
belong....
yellow_elephant

We ARE here From The Directorate Of State Security To Ask a Few Questions...

Ah yes, on the day there is a Shooting at the Department Of Homeland Securities Extension Office, CNN, we get this novelty in the news
Portions of Wolf's video were shown on local television, but he refused to turn over the outtakes to the grand jury and said they contained no evidence of a crime. Although California's so-called shield law allows journalists to withhold confidential sources and unpublished material, there is no such law in federal court.

Journalists' organizations rallied to Wolf's support and cited his case as evidence of the need for a federal shield law, which has been introduced in Congress. Prosecutors argued that Wolf, a political activist who posts his videos and commentary on his blog, was not a legitimate journalist.

David Greene, one of Wolf's lawyers, said today the breakthrough came when prosecutors dropped their insistence that Wolf testify to the grand jury about people he interviewed for his video. He said Wolf was willing to turn over the outtakes last November if he had been excused from testifying but prosecutors turned him down.

[ cf Imprisoned freelance journalist to be released ]
Hopefully now all americans will feel more safer that all Journalists will be vetted by the Department of Kommisariate Protective Services, where they will learn the importance of the Blissed Out Glow that can only be obtained by Accepting The Divinity Of Dubya....

Remember, when sharing with the Directorate Of State Security, in any of it's Manifestations, Journalists, Priest, Preacher, Psychologist, Doctor, or UnNamed UnIndicted Co-Conspirator Number Three, it is IMPORTANT that you speak clearly, openly, and honestly, about how much you have Always Felt the Blissed Out Glow that can Only Be Obtained by Accepting the Divinity of Dubya. Since as we all know, Dubya knows best, and he has a list of the Good Boys and Girls, who are On the Right Side, Doing Good, and the Bad Boys and Girls, who are Bad, and Doing Ikky Things....

All Hail Great Leader!!!

Since Only The Divinity Of Dubya CAN keep the Evil Iranian Flying Saucers Away!!!

Only By Accepting The Divinity of Dubya, and Yielding All To His Greatness, can one ever have a chance of True Liberation from the Evils of the Modern Era...
yellow_elephant

Those Damn Liberals....

God They Just Do NOT understand
Though critics have argued that he does not understand the futility of his current situation, President Bush announced today that he has no plans to remove his head from its current position: wedged painfully between two balusters on a White House staircase.

"Setting a timetable for withdrawal of my head would send mixed messages about why I put my head here in the first place," Bush said at a press conference on the Grand Staircase. "I am going to finish what I set out to accomplish here, no matter how unpopular my decision may be, or how much my head hurts while stuck between these immovable stairway posts."

[ cf Bush Refuses To Set Timetable For Withdrawal Of Head From White House Banister ]
In These Strange And Difficult Time, it is most important to SHOW Resolve!!!!

That is why Tom "no retreat, no surrender" DeLay is still leading the Charge to protect americans, as he supports the President's Decision to Remove his head from the Banister Rail without any interferance from The Congress, the House UberGruppenFueher reported through His SpokesPerson who is a Manly Male Man Masculinely Supporting the Congress In Exile that is the Congress We Would Have Had, had it not been for the Vindictiveness of the Evil Doing Evil Doers who Falsely Elected Others than Those who were Electable.

All True Patriotic American Patriotically Support the President's Divine Right To Stuff His Head where ever the Divine Dictates Decide, Divinely, and that it is Simply MicroManaging By Congress, to suggest that the President should Not be Stuffing His Head into places that are that small, and generally contain methane, and other bio-degradable componentry.

Clearly ALL TRUE Americans Rally To the President, and His Congress In Exile, as they Hold the Line against the sort of Kapitulationist Appeaser Cut And Runners who would suggest that the president should withdraw from anything anywhere at anytime.

Since ONLY by staying the Course, can the course be stayed!!!

All HAIL the warm and reassuring Glow that comes from Accepting the Divinity of Dubya, and the Divine Guidance that Can ONLY be Offered By the Divine Decider Himself!!!

Anything Less and the Terrrorists WIN!!!
yellow_elephant

Why Does The FCC Hate Freedom???

WOW!!! talk about the dangers of Radical Left Wing Extremist Cliques Bent Upon Stabbing Our Valiant Fighting Forces In The back!!!
The U.S. Federal Communications Commission issued an order on Monday aimed at toughening up protections for consumers' personal phone records after revelations last year of leaks.
[ cf US FCC adopts tougher phone record privacy rules ]
WOW!!!!

I mean who are these Fruit Bats to OPPOSE the Department of The Kommisariate Of Public Purity and It's Passionate Protection of The Patriotic Patriot Act!!!! Just because from time to time some innocent civilians have to be rounded up and burned at the stake doesn't mean that this is a Bad Thing!!!! Mien Gott Im Himmel, I mean everyone has had one of those days when one has accidentally burned Not Guilty People at the Stake, because, well, gosh, they could have been the Demonic Spawns of Satan that we were after!!!!

So Clearly the Department Of Homeland Security MUST arrest these Devil Worshippers in the FCC who are opposed to Allowing Americans to be Protected By Basking In The Glow of the Divinity Of Dubya!!!

Anything Less and the Terrorists WIN!!!!
yellow_elephant

Why We MUST stop The Evil Liberal Media Meat Puppets

Oh this Just In
Some deeply disturbed person at the Columbia Journalism Review profiles the Type J personality:
Published in the winter 2007 volume of Journalism History, "Depression, Drink and Dissipation" finds that almost half of the best people to ever push a noun against a verb in newsprint were debilitated by depression, serious anxiety, or bipolar disorder; over a third were titanic drunks, pill-poppers, or opium-addicts; nearly a third were serial philanderers, and a sizable bunch were misogynists, man-eaters, or violent bullies. In almost every case, the tendency to booze, carouse, or otherwise self-annihilate developed or seriously deepened during their days in journalism.
Jeez... I need a drink...

[ cf Ink-Stained Wretches ]
WOW...

Can there be any doubt that we MUST STOP THEM!!! Before they get More, WhatEver....
yellow_elephant

Those Damn Draft Dodging Dope Smoking Hippies...

I am SHOCKED!!! Shocked I Tell You!!!
Her father, cousin and others were among thousands of Hmong trained by the CIA to fight Communist forces in Laos during the Vietnam War. When the Communist Pathet Lao took control, Vang and her family fled their war-torn city and resettled as refugees in Milwaukee.

Seven years ago, Congress recognized the contributions of people such as Vang's family with the Hmong Veterans' Naturalization Act.

But now, a provision in the USA Patriot Act defines Hmong refugees as terrorists. As a result, thousands in the United States can't get green cards. And thousands of would-be refugees abroad are barred from resettling here. Vang's stepsister Mai Lor is one of them.

[ cf Provision of Patriot Act treats Hmong as terrorists ]
HOW SHOCKING!!!!

Those Evil Liberals FORCED the Evil Liberal Patriot Act On Americans because of their Evil Liberal Draft Dodging Dope Smoking Hippie Anti-War Ways....

It is just SHOCKING what the Shrill And Hysterial Radical Left Wing Extremists will do to persecute americans and their valiant fighting Fellows....

What EVER will we do to stop the Shirll And Hysterical Radical Left Wing Extremists Patriot Act From Persecuting Ameicans and their Valiant Fighting Fellows!!!

Why Gosh - why not put a time scale for Surging it through the Shredder???

Or would that be MicroManaging the Shirll And Hysterical Radical Left Wing Extremists and their Damn Draft Dodging Dope Smoking Hippies Fellow Travelors...
yellow_elephant

Speaking Of The Battle Cry Campaign...

Well, gosh, yes, there it is Battle Cry Campaign - and yes, Gosh, there is Jerry Fallwell, et al, doing their bit for supporting the Militarization of Xtianity, so that we can Get The eXtreme Back into the More Masculine Jesus....

It sorta starts to make sense why they needed this horse and pony show, back in the 2005 time frame, because, well GOSH that must have clearly looked like the Greatest of All Times to work on moving the nation forward to a more Militaristic Movement....

What we may want to worry about, is how committed are these folks to making sure that America Will Not Survive the Decade.... Granted they of course like to market it as if they are the Great Savior Of The Nation, who are riding up on the Big White Horse....

But isn't that a Long Standing Cherish Tradition..... You know, selling us more fear, and more fear, and more FEAR!!! So that ONLY The Great Leader Can Rescue US....

Scary Momentary Thought, But what If YOU, the Reader, are one of the Soulless Ones, the Evil Demonic Forces, that they will have to Obliterate to protect their way of life??? ( and yes, to be pedantic, I should Note and Quote, Philosophical zombie as a nice academic sort of discussion about the practice of how do we deal with those who do not actually have souls, irregardless of how they got that way... )

For those of you who may not have seen Acquire the evidence: On Ron Luce and Teen Mania Ministry it too can be a fun run through. We have a really cool new source of great new and improved Urban Legends about how the Persecution of Christians is all a part of how someone is persecuting them....

Forgive me folks if I skip over my usual mirth filled frivolity, but It took nearly an hour to talk one of my Fantasy Writer Friends out of his "Religious" belief that the whole "teen mania ministries" was just one more of the Landover Baptist Spoofs, or worse, a Black Flag operation being run to discredit Christianity. The tragedy, as the canonical "Google's Law Of Journalism" obliged, is that, while we can show who is Directly Tied to the Group, there is the small problem
But Does Jerry Falwell, et al, being involved actually disprove that this is a Black Flag Operation being run to discredit Christianity?
Well, NO. Actually it does not.

But what it unpleasanty does is underscore the main themes of those who have been writing against the "christianists" and their Dominionist well, gosh, do we call them fellow travellors?

The central problem may well turn out to be whether folks like living in a Republic, or do they want it to finally abandon it's constitution, so that we can majikally become a "Christian Empire"....

So maybe it is time for americans to start working out where DO they want to stand???

While there is at least the general sentiment that the law of the land can be supported and upheld.