Ok, so most of the adverts and the short subjects that show up at movie theatres prior to the showing of the movie tend to SCARE ME as being way too obviously a part of the DARK AND SINISTER PLOT by the Wicked Nancy Pelosi and her Evil Voodoo Zombie Dust Bunnies of Despair, who are rampaging to destroy our white Christian America!!!!
But this weekend we ran into Epic Movie
and the synopsis says it all, except for the boringly obligatory section about how they are all in league with Satan and are under the Mind Control Of Iranian Flying Saucers, which I believe we can all take for Granted. So if you want to do your part to Stop the Forces of Darkness and Evil!!! And more importantly the Evil Doing Evil Doers, who are Evil, and Doing, and ERS!!! then YES you have to be there to see Epic Movie
so that it takes the Poll Position as the Greatest Most Patriotically Corrector Than Thou Truest Of All True Epic Movies About the Theologically Correct!!!!
Anything less and the Space Aliens Man the Iranian Flying Saucers and Do Reallyy UnNice Things....
All of which underlines the fact that I went to see Eragon
which of course FAILED to obviously mention that it was a Holy Crusade Against Iranian Flying Saucers, and at no time supported the Clear And Compelling Proof that the Argument From Intelligent Design Dictated the Divinity of Dubya.... But folks might as well go and see it, and get a clue as to why the younger generation has decided to march in lock step with the Left Wing Extremist Radical Anti-War Types....
Long Story Short, without giving away too much of the Core Plot, this is your Basic "It is SOOOO hard to get a decent date these days." movie, where the usual plot line devolves from some nice girl who would really like to be out meeting nice boys, but of course just has too many things to do, and opts for the Usual Coming Of Age Plot Line Device of Toss the Dragon Egg at the Farm Boy and get Captured By the Evil Wizard
- like as if we haven't all used that now classic ploy on a saturday night when the band is bad and the beer if flatter than the typical Anti-Evolutionists Not Rotating Around The Sun planet....
Yes, there are all of the usual elements in the film, including a Cameo by Malkovich, where he reprieves his roll of Humma Kavula, from HGG
but done this time more as the Older of the Two Siths, hence showing an improvement in his general sensitivity to the Growth Cycle of those who are embarking upon Global Domination.
Basically the film runs flat out from the start to the finish, and we will leave it up to those who crawl out of the Wreckage of Canada whether it was a clear and compelling sufficiency of Proof that GOD has called us to Bomb Canada so that we will be able to divine the true inner secret meaning of the Movie, and/or use the subtle plot devices, like bombing canada, as a basis for establishing meaningful, albeit, one night, relationships.
I am SOOO glad that I went to see this on the big screen, as I do not get that many opportunities to eat pop corn, and sit in the Dark with Demonic Beast Creatures, albeit Seymour and Sheldon were not as impressed, and felt that it lacked a certain level of cultural sensitivity about Dragons. Ok, so they also have some relationship issues that they are working out, but you know how hard it is in these ugly times to be Dragon Assasins in a culture that thinks that means some sort of Chop-Saki Flick..... Needless to say, they were MORE upset to find out that there was some Mere Human Chick doing the Voice of the Dragon, as that was like such a let down, as they were JUST hoping that this time they could meet, you know, some hot hollywood dragon babe with some sereious Scales.....
In short, see the Movie, Bomb Canada, Try Out the Dating Techniques, and Give Generously to the "save the old tired dragons who are having a hard time meeting hot babes" fund, Or the TERRRRORISTS WIN!!!