He searched the wreckage of his memories, looking for the right red ryder rifle recall that said, when he had been briefed in, that Santa Claus did not really exist. There were memories of NORAD, memories of the DEW line, there were memories of squadron rolls, wing tip to wing tip, down the runway. On Strike leader! On Tanker, on Flak Fogger and vixen...
But no matter where he looked, all the memories said the same thing: Santa Claus was CIA. I mean, the red suit, the giving away gifts to kids all over the world to co-opt them into Support the State Policy of the so called free world... Hell, USAID was crawling with that sort of player. Many of them were actually on the payroll, and others, well, it was probably better not to tell the hippies who was really signing the paychecks.
"Three days of the Reindeer", she whispered into his ear. It caused the required and expected laugh, as everyone pitched in, "The elves! They were all dead! There was blood everywhere...."
'Twas a nice comedic change of pace, a reference back to the happier times of Three Days of the Condor, when the nation was transitioning from one phase of its Vietnam Syndrome to that New Day In The Post Vietnam Syndrome. Yes, those kinder, gentler, more halcyon days when there was an obvious Evil Empire just over the seas in Evil Empire Land. Over there they were building Light Weight Aircraft Carriers, so there was still the need to maintain some sort of Union Labor which would build the ever bigger Galaxtic Class Advanced Aircraft Carriers that would some day be released from the tyranny of leftist liberal whineyneff. Ah yes, some day we would be allowed to unleash death from above as stand-off weapons would rain down on the enemies, destroying lighting, heating, food systems, clean water, and the basic infrastructure that differentiated an organic free range subsistance hunter-gatherer group from the more advanced industrialized romantics who were ever so infatuated with the happy world that Death From Above would bring to people!
Ah yes, we speak of those who would be freed from the fear that modern medicine would help treat their open running wounds and diseases, make safe their food sources, or provide a means to detect the various pathogens that would - without medicine - kill off the happy free range organic kayjun style subsistence hunter-gatherer groups. Ah, how nostalgic all of that now seems, back when there was always going to be some sort of 'out there' where everyone would make their Logan's Run, as if it were just one more part of the annual marathon races.
"I'm not a field agent, I just make toys!"
Peals of giggly wiggly laughter ring until the matron of the house whines about keeping it down lest the little one awakes. It makes good comedy. Really it does, on par with Lee Major's in The Night The Reindeer Died, from the classic Scrooged. Ah yes, the fun filled days when we all had hope that the cold war would roll on forever and ever, and those damn liberals would not let the Berlin Wall fall down and become the backdrop for a Grand Pink Floyd Spectacle.
What sort of corporate state would give up on a perfectly great cold war? Was it just to sell more media imaging sets? Just a side wandering thot ...
Meanwhile, while trying to figure a way to squeeze Santa Claus into the final scene where the protagonist shows up at the NYT with a copy of his story, the limo pulls up. Do we re-write Cliff Robertson's character? Or do we put Santa in the Limo as the real puppet master?
"You do know that Dickens ('A Christmas Carol') was a communist? We really should try to weave that in here."
But like all good mashups, there is a limit as to how much neuvo one can novelly mix in before the luddites get confused by the Semiotext(e) and whether we are still at war with french, because they are french, or because they have a theory about symbols and markings and image management.
"But you have to understand, the whole game has changed."
A reasonable enough point, given that to some, this 'game change' is the idea of having a ground station in some nice suburban shopping mall hell where civilian contractors track targets, who then hand over the joystick to an official card-carrying member of the Military Welfare Statists to pull the trigger. Yeah, major changer there, unlike all of the rest of the stand-off delivery systems before it. But one really has to wonder why we haven't yet commoditized it? Think of it ... Some hot new online gaming MMO where kids get to pay good money to kill enemies like in those cool retro sci-fi movie remakes of films like Gamer, but without all of the downside of anti-state elements engaged in anti-state terrorism!
Why not write it up as a project, get some DARPA funding, and take a stab at letting the paying customers enjoy the happy moments of being able to purge unbelievers, anti-state terrorists, and collateral damage units from the feeMarket?
Besides, since that great remake of Papillon that cleaned up all of the depressing french parts, we have been focusing totally on how Butterfly farming had become such a critical part of the off shore rehumanization facilities. Granted, no one had actually met anyone who had been to a rehumanization station, but clearly they had to be a great improvement on the original efforts in GitMo Land before that was turned into a part of the greater Havana Luxury resort system.
Long gone were the failed regressionists that believed that the Great Leader did not naturally have the right to liquidate anyone who had become a menace, or was unpopular, or basically should have opted for a more natural organic free range type of life. Those were the sort of people who were just not going to be rehumanized and learn to fit in!
These were the new and improved modern times! Not the sort of lame failure of the failed old days! America had made the Glorious Military Victories of the CFMA of 2000, and no matter what anyone said about the various liquidity traps that came after it, it was what the market really wanted! Everyone knew that a feeMarket wasn't fee! That we all just had to deal with the real world! We all had to understand that God had selected some to be allowed to convert into Bank Holding Companies! It was god's will! It was the proof itself that there were those who were the elect of God and, well, those who were not.
Why, all of the best Television Shows showed that it was a law of science that those who are converted into Bank Holding Companies (BHC) could not be regulated, since the very science of the survival of the fittest mandated that those who were BHC lived a totally different life than the mere mundanes! They had to be the post-human group that God alone had designed from the very beginning to be the new ones! The ones that everyone turned to.
Well yes, there were all those stick-in-the-mud 20th-century throwbacks who thot some WarThing was how that great depression had ended. But as we all know, it was never government's role to create level playing fields. Besides, the creation of the lighter, simpler, better hunter-killers meant that there was no need to waste money on all of those archaic forms of 'warfare' that really were all about creating a bunch of reactionary tools. I mean, does anyone actually remember any of the great tank battles of Bagram or Baghdad or any of those B-States? Of course not! The new generations of Death From Above not only made things more cost effective, they had streamlined the whole process of interstate negotiation.
All of that Marxist dribble from History of the Intellectual Debate on progressive tax with pinkos like Adam Smith, well, it was just so many fairey tales. As if anyone truly believed that people should be treated as equals before the law! Instead, god revealed the divine holey revelation of the natural law for those who were Bank Holding Companies, so there really was no need to worry about mundanes. If they were lucky, the mundanes would be able to find their way back to the organic free range. Why should the states have to keep passing Special Public Security Acts (SPSA) to cover this dangerous thot criminal or that dangerous thot criminal? I mean really, we have come a long way from warehousing folks like Binayak Sen for violating the Chhattisgarh Special Public Security Act back when SPSA had names and numbers associated with them.
What we need is a FeeMarket solution that will fix all of this! What if we get to market and productize "The hunt for organic free range mundanes". Yeah, that would be a great MMO! We get the up-front cash flow from the game. We have the solid back-end from converting the mundanes into Patriotic Bio-Fuels.
It should work.
Wrap it with a brisk upbeat jingle or two, and it'll be in the shopping malls for CombatShoppingDayz!
Yeah, "Three Days of the Reindeer", what a wild and crazy idea! To think that folks once considered there could be any sort of disagreement internally in the national safety services directorate!
Who knows what next year will bring ... with any luck we might all be Bank Holding Companies.
With the happy tunes of Es Y Golonac dancing through their heads, they all called it a pleasant eventide.